I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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