It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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