Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
