you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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