i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
