Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
