he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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