I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
