what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
