After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
