Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
