At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
