you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
