Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
As shirtless as possible
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
