i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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