then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
did you just send me my own nude
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
