I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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