I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
