Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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