By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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