Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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