So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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