someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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