How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
