At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
