i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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