so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
