so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
