i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
