Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize