No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just googled if crying burns calories
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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