Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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