He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
