she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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