i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My life is pants optional.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
