After last night, I could never be a politician.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Damn victory sex feels great
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
