I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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