I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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