Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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