which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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