Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
