it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
