he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
