when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize