My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
