Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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