...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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