shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
