it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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