Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i think i have herpe
just one?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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