he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
