every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
