it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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